im exhausted from talking
i no longer care about validation
but rather isolation
from the world around me
im exhausted from talking
i no longer care about validation
but rather isolation
from the world around me
When the misery is bad enough, tomorrow is rarely factored into decisions.
#sad #depression #lost
My silence is just another way I show pain.
– That 70’s Show (via thoughtkick)
i kinda wish none of it ever happened
I kinda wish that I didn’t exist
Sleeping is my escaping from my mind, my feelings, my thoughts. That’s sad because this is not how life should be
Things no one tells you about when you’ve been mentally ill for years and it won’t get better
— everyone will give up on you. Some will say it upfront, some will have indirect ways of showing it (you’re a lucky mf if you still have someone )
— your symptoms/ breakdowns/ panic attacks are cute for a few months. Everyone wants to help. Later on people find them annoying and inconvenient
— you will be blamed for not getting better. Doesn’t matter if you’re doing therapy, taking meds, exercising, eating well and sleeping. You can do all of it, some of it or none of it. They will find fault in your efforts.
— desensitization to your pain. This one isn’t their fault, it’s human nature. But it happens and yes it hurts cuz you would wish you were desensitized to your own pain but you have to feel it no matter what. Doesn’t matter if it’s the millionth time. It demands to be felt.
— people move on. But you can’t. You see people cope and get over things while you simply can’t. And it’s so much worse if you’ve been mentally ill for years. Even the smallest things break you and trigger you.
— you slowly realize this world isn’t made for mentally ill people in any way
— you’re tired / fatigued all the time. You have been for years now. You simply exist but you aren’t capable of living anymore. Your illnesses have taken everything that made you feel alive. You’re nothing but a shell. A body.
pretending to be okay was never easy.
i dont talk anymore. i dont want to. i have nothing to say. i have nothing to contribute to a conversation. words escape me and i dont care that they do. i can go entire days without muttering a word. i just want to be left alone, now.